Passive Destructive States of Mind
Longing is an aching pain that slowly devours your heart and eats up all your other emotions, leaving you emotionless and helpless. Your mind is stripped of other thoughts and your capability to think is non-existent. It leaves you breathless and lifeless. What is racing through your mind are only thoughts of desires and thoughts of seeing, feeling, owning the object of desire. Nothing but thoughts of the object of lust.
Emptiness leaves a dent in your heart. Life (i.e. the dent) can never be complete unless your desires are fulfilled. The hollowness is overwhelming. It feels like life is draining out of you, leaving you empty, uncontented and never happy. The void feels as if it is staying there for good. Only seeing, feeling or owning the object of desire can fill up the bottomless pit.
Loneliness haunts you everywhere you. It lurks like a shadow all around you. Sometimes, it engulfs you and possesses you. It doesn't matter if you are surrounded by people or whether you are just alone by yourself. It doesn't matter because you are not match for the incredible power it has. Most of time, it takes advantage of your vulnerability and swallows you whole, leaving no bones. You don't know when it is going to strike. You can never defeat the force of loneliness by yourself. You are just too weak to counter it.
Depression is unexplainable. It just comes and goes. Like a wind. It can strike you at any stage of your life. Sometimes it's innate. Uncontrollable, that is. It knocks out the rationality in you. It sucks out all the seeds of happiness in you, leaving the shrivelled shell behind. All you feel is sadness. Extreme bouts of sadness. Weeping seems to be the only thing you are capable of. Tears just come naturally. You see sadness in everything. Immerse and unexplainable sadness and pessimism. It feels as if you can never be happy ever again.
Heartbreaks are sharp, excruciating pain that wrenches the heart. Grief, anguish, distress, despair, abandonment and every other emotions resulted from the pain consume you. It feels as if the heart is cracking as if it is made of glass. The aftermath is irreversible; The scars are so deep that the heart seems beyond repair and salvage. It feels as if you have been scarred for life. It feels as if the motivation to plough on has vanished overnight. All you wish to do is to wallow in self-pity. The sinking feeling is immerse. You just wish life will just end. All that psychological trauma to come to an end.
Guess I have been and still am a victim of all these. Vicious as they are, I have fallen prey and gotten myself embroiled in situations of such. Entangled and trapped in this vicious circle time and again. Again and again.
Emptiness leaves a dent in your heart. Life (i.e. the dent) can never be complete unless your desires are fulfilled. The hollowness is overwhelming. It feels like life is draining out of you, leaving you empty, uncontented and never happy. The void feels as if it is staying there for good. Only seeing, feeling or owning the object of desire can fill up the bottomless pit.
Loneliness haunts you everywhere you. It lurks like a shadow all around you. Sometimes, it engulfs you and possesses you. It doesn't matter if you are surrounded by people or whether you are just alone by yourself. It doesn't matter because you are not match for the incredible power it has. Most of time, it takes advantage of your vulnerability and swallows you whole, leaving no bones. You don't know when it is going to strike. You can never defeat the force of loneliness by yourself. You are just too weak to counter it.
Depression is unexplainable. It just comes and goes. Like a wind. It can strike you at any stage of your life. Sometimes it's innate. Uncontrollable, that is. It knocks out the rationality in you. It sucks out all the seeds of happiness in you, leaving the shrivelled shell behind. All you feel is sadness. Extreme bouts of sadness. Weeping seems to be the only thing you are capable of. Tears just come naturally. You see sadness in everything. Immerse and unexplainable sadness and pessimism. It feels as if you can never be happy ever again.
Heartbreaks are sharp, excruciating pain that wrenches the heart. Grief, anguish, distress, despair, abandonment and every other emotions resulted from the pain consume you. It feels as if the heart is cracking as if it is made of glass. The aftermath is irreversible; The scars are so deep that the heart seems beyond repair and salvage. It feels as if you have been scarred for life. It feels as if the motivation to plough on has vanished overnight. All you wish to do is to wallow in self-pity. The sinking feeling is immerse. You just wish life will just end. All that psychological trauma to come to an end.
Guess I have been and still am a victim of all these. Vicious as they are, I have fallen prey and gotten myself embroiled in situations of such. Entangled and trapped in this vicious circle time and again. Again and again.
1 Comments:
At Fri Jan 04, 05:25:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
gdness. ur blog articles were getting more n more depressing... chin up and look beyond the horizon for there are far better things out there waiting for u to explore. cheers : )
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